kit

Time to evaluate some of my kit.I am doing this with the intention of being public spirited in the way of the bloke who scribbles "don`t have the fish" on a menu at a restaurant. So that if I made a good choice, then it will help people, and if I made a bad choice, then  my mistake can be a warning.

The Jack Wolfskin tent..inexpertly set up.

But now I can put it up quickly and in the dark.. its that easy.(see below for expertly pitched tent)

The second night I used it it rained, and was very windy. I had no idea that it rained, and the wind had little effect. A fantastic tent!. It has a quite ingenious system for minimising  condensation and even when I had to put it away wet, and so there was damp everywhere  the next time I set it up it still kept me warm, dry and fine.I have read reports that it is a bit flimsy and everything breaks.. but I am very careful...for eg, when I manage to jam the zip, and am desperate for a pee, I still don`t do anything violent, so I hope that my kindness will be repaid by a tent that lasts..

What else is wrong with it? Well its hard to get in and out of..I have to put my paramo (more about paramo later) on the ground outside the tent, sit on that and kind of slide in feet first. I am quite fat, but a big bloke- quite a thin one- would have even more problems than me I think. But once inside everything is fine. There`s even little pockets to put your headlight and watch etc etc in so you know where they are.

The mosquito net is splendid. if you manage to get in the tent without letting one of the little bastards in, I don`t see how one could get in after.

It also has a "bucket" groundsheet attached to the net, so I don`t think a horrid giant centipede could get in.

I mention these, because I got bitten by one while camping in the past, and very unpleasant it was too.

NEXT. THE Thermarest mattress,

Hmmmmm. At first I hated it so much and would have given anything to have my old thermarest back.

Here`s why: You have to blow this bugger up. Well, I mentioned in the beginning that I didnt find this easy to do, unlike 90% of the people who had tested the bastard. I still don`t think its easy.And the LAST thing I want to do when I am totally knackered is blow up this thing. Also I am not sure if it has a fault or if it just deflates in the night. It never goes down completely. There is no hole in it. Naturally if it is a cold night the air contracts. So I would expect it to be less full of air just it seems a bit excessive pressure loss. I have yet to spend a night that wasnt cold..I hope it doesnt burst if it suddenly gets hot...But this is where the mattress is good. The insulation is FANTASTIC. After a couple of VERY cold nights I began to see the good side of the mattress, and to -if not love it- stop hating it.

Another really STUPID thing. Because the material of which the damn ting is made is rather vulnerable, I bought its wildly expensive repair kit, which I have with

me at all times. And, would you believe? this expensive repair kit is closed by STAPLES, no really, little metal staples. You are supposed to keep this kit in the stuff bag which comes with the mattress...EXACTLY.! Luckily I noticed that there were little metal spikes waiting to destroy my mattress incorporated in the repair kit, and avoided THAT particular way of wiping out my investment.

OK it is VERY light.But I advise anyone who needs a lightweight mattress to carry the extra grammes and buy the oldstyle thermarest. Which, I, having bought the award winning state of the art Neoair, am in no financial position to do!

GRRRRRRRRR After constant going down of the mattress in the night - its starts off full of air, and by the time I wake up needing a pee it is shrivelled like a willie in a cold shower, I decided that I would have to investigate the cause. And maybe fix the problem. So I opened the repair kit. It told me to find the hole like one does a puncture in a bike tyre by holding it under water. OK, fair enough, everyone knows how to do THAT.  It also suggests that you can search for the puncture by putting soapy water all over it and watching for bubbles. Er? if you are in the wilderness is that an environmentally friendly thing to do???

Next..once you have found the puncture you are supposed to fix the glue and the patch by standing a flat pan of hot water on it. Excuse me, but what if you don`t happen to have a flat pan of hot water? Well, then it says, you can do it without a pan of hot water. So why bother with the hot water pan?It must be because it does a better job, right? Which means that this mattress, designed for the traveller who wants to keep weight to an absolute minimum, and the product charged for accordingly, can only really be mended properly by the traveller who carries water boiling equipment. And I just paid £8 for a kit that won`t mend my mattress.

My main thought is that it is the valve that is faulty, because I have such difficulty inflating the mattress.

I`ll change the valve, I thought. That should at least show whether there IS a puncture, or if the valve is the problem.  So I looked in the repair kit. No valve replacement, but a note that tells me that valves are available from my nearest THERMAREST dealer.

And my nearest THERMAREST dealer?? well when I tell you that I couldn`t get a Neo air in Greece AT ALL, but ordered one from Britain,you`ll see that there is a problem here.

In addition it tells me that with pliers (WHAT pliers?) I remove the old valve and...

So it seems that the Neo air was designed for the kind of traveller who sets off with 14 native bearers, a head cook and a private jet for getting to their nearest Thermarest dealer...after all those are the only people who can afford one...

GRRRRRRRR 

Paramo!! you`ve already read about the knickers  (more later about them) now here`s the jacket.

Well I bought the jacket 8 years ago because I saw one in a shop..no wait..with a tap running on it permanently, so that it was being thoroughly drenched all the time.And this proved to my satisfaction that the item was waterproof. It was also HUGELY expensive. So I bought it.

I then found out that it is amazingly environmentally friendly fairtrade and all the other buzzwords that you can think of when you want to please the guilt ridden middleclasses. So I was even more pleased I bought it.

THEN I started using it.. and that`s when I became totally enslaved by Paramo. This jacket has been with me on every single ride,plus has been used to keep me dry whenever I go anywhere wet on my motorbike, on foot.. even downtown. It has never leaked. It is also in some strange way quite warm. It is light. On rides it is used as a groundsheet, as a waterproof cover for thinsg like my saddle, it acts as a blanket when used over my bivvy bag or sleeping bag. It is constantly being screwed up and squashed into my saddle bags or tied to my rucksack..and so on.

Anyway, even though it was still in good shape, I thought maybe Paramo would give me a new one, so I wrote and asked them. They said that they didn`t give away jackets much, except to good causes, as they would have to pay their workers less if they did. They also asked why, if this jacket was OK, I wanted a new one. Well I was ashamed to say that I wanted a new jacket because I wanted a new jacket, because..well, a pink one would be nice.

Of course they are right-about everything-

And their jackets are the best. Just a pink one would be nice..But environmentally friendly people aren`t supposed to covet things just because they are new and pink, so I am trying to be grownup about this.

I forgot, I also use it as a dressing gown on cold mornings..

TENT UPDATE!

Below is a picture of the tent (see above for rave review) after a night spent protecting me from the worst weather near the summit of Mt Helikon (Elikonas) SUCH a good tent. I put an extra groundsheet because of the rocks and as extra insulation. I was exhausted after three days of HORRIBLE windy nstormy weather. Coming up Helikon we could hardly walk the headwind was so strong. But, when pitched properly with its tail to the wind it kept me warm and safe from wind. I must say it needed all my courage to get up in the morning, because the wind was freezing and howling around, but at least I`d had a good night`s sleep.

Thankyou jack Wolfskin. I have slept in worse condtions with my old 2nd World war army tent, but that is a VERY robust bit of kit. I was a bit uneasy about the Jack Wolfskin because it is so very light.. but flimsy..not at all.

The Computer

It seemed to me that having a small computer with me that I could get online with would be a good thing.But which computer? Obviously it had to be as small as possible, and have as much battery as possible.And oh, could it be pink or gold lame please? Well I saw just the job in Plaisio. It was a special offer because it has just been replaced by a newer model with more bells and knobs, so I thought it`d be Ok. But, gold coloured and tiny though it was Plaisio were as helpful as they usually are and had no idea if I could get a spare battery for it etc etc.

So I asked my friend Andrea at BEEP computers what to do. The best compromise he could come up with was an ACER ASPIRE. This because you could get a spare battery which would give you an extra 9 hours of use, as well as the 6 or so hours you get with the standard battery. That seemed ideal. The notebook itself was a BIT bigger than I wanted, but none of the teeny weeny ones with huge battery life were affordable, and the affordable ones had short battery life. Also the colour was a disapointment., though I tried to be grownup about this.

I  added a few embellishments, and then sat down to wait for the extra battery to arrive. It arrived after quite a while.I rushed into town that very day to pick it up. I didnt take the computeraki with me, which was a pity, because when I tried to fit the new battery it didn`t fit. Yes. Acer had sent , all the way from Germany, the WRONG but of kit. Grrrrr.

Of course it was Saturday evening by then, so Monday the battery went back into town, and from there to Germany. They were asked to send the CORRECT battery and pronto.

But this they didnt do. I waited and waited.. any minute now I was due to set off.. a MONTH had gone by.

Why had Acer not sent the replacement  battery. OUT OF STOCK, thats why.

So I set off on my travels with a Blue computeraki, larger than I wanted and with no more battery life than a much smaller version.

I think this can act as a horrible warning. ACER may or may not make decent little computers.

BUT their customer care department is CRAP. I bought the wrong computer because of ACER`s assurances that 1. there was a bigger battery, but for this model. 2 That they had such batteries available AND COULD SEND IMMEDIATELY. And there`s not much you can do over and above contacting them in Germany and checking several times what was the best course of action for someone who wanted plenty of battery when lost in the hills.

If I was at a restaurant I would scribble a warning on Acer`s menu. Don`t believe what they tell you. I`d say. 

UNDERWEAR

I`m sorry to keep on about underwear, but actually, for us explorers, this is of UTMOST importance.

Even on short expeditions underfunctioning underwear can be a big prob. Years ago I was on a five day ride with a group of persons from our riding school. Everyone had been carefully informed about what was needed and not needed..everyone had paid proper heed to instructions and yet..and yet..on the third day Bob whispered

"I`ve got knicker failure"  Truly awful, especially for a bloke, it seems. How we all laughed. And continue to laugh. "Remember when Bob got knicker failure?" we reminisce, cruelly. But fairly, I think.

So one really needs to avoid the many and various kinds of knicker failure when on a longer expedition.

I have,over the years, developed strategies to avoid the most obvious "bloomers" one can make.

I only wore lacey knickers once. I know NOT to do that now. Also one needs to have about 4 pairs with one..you wash one pair every day, and it should be possible to dry them. BUT you have fresh knickers even if it rains for 3 days. These 4 pairs of knickers should all have a slightly different design. If they don`t, and something about the design doesnt quite suit, you have saddle sores immediately. If the knickers are different, then they don`t rub in the same places, so you have three days to recover from each uncomfortable part of a knicker.

SO I have got 4 pairs with me. You`ve already heard about the Paramo ones, and why I got them.

Now hear about the others:

1 pair Sloggi double comfort made of 95% cotton and 5% Elastan.

1 pair Minerva knickers for sport. They havent got a label telling me how to wash them or what they are made of, but I think probably cotton

1 pair Sloggi sensual 83% polymid nylon 17%Elastan. I don`t know why they are called "sensual" unless it is a foreign word that means " if you and your partner are into dressing up in plastic binbags you`ll probably like these a lot"

1 pair Marks and Spencers knickers in pink cotton and elastan

1 pair paramo synthetic material knickers.

Wait. That makes 5. oh well sometimes I take 5 pairs with me in case it rains a lot.

I judge them by a number of criteria and they can get 10 points for each.

1.Environmentally friendly production

Sloggi DC 0, Minerva 0, Sloggi sensual 0,Marks and Sparks 0. Paramo 10.

2. FAIRTRADE

Sloggi DC 0, Minerva 0,Sloggi S O, Mand S 0, Paramo 10

(Paramo doing well at this stage and knickers not even worn!)

3 NOT SWEATY

Sloggi DC 8, Minerva 4,Sloggi S 9, M and S 8,Paramo 9

4 NOT SMELLY

Sloggi DC 7, Minerva 4, Sloggi S 7, Mand S 6, Paramo 8

5 COMFORT

Sloggi DC 10 these are the most comfortable.Minerva 2 These are very uncomfortable as they have a seam down the bum..why? and also they have some kind of shiny stuff incorporated into their elastic which caused me to get an allegic reaction wherever the elastic was in contact with my skin. The spots take about 4 days to go away, and then it is minerva`s turn to be worn again so..Also on sport knickers do we really NEED elastic touching us and making us sweat? The reason Sloggi wins is that the elastic is covered with cotton throughout. Anyway Minerva knickers are pants.Sloggi S 6 comfortableshape and keep you dry.Marks and Sparks 9 really very comfortable, just don`t have the cotton cover over the waistband that gives Sloggi the edge. Paramo.7 very dry and light BUT they are cut a bit low at the waist and therefore don`t protect you from waistband of johdpurs as well as the Sloggi and Mand S.

Overall winners are the Paramo, as you can see, but the knickers I look forward to wearing are the sloggi DC. If only Sloggi could be fairtrade and environmentally friendly....

SHOCK update.. Sloggi DC which were winning on the comfort stakes have fallen at a fence long before the post.

Because the weather has been mostly good I hadn`t tested the sloggiunder wet conditions. Anyway it was pisswet raining, and I was sitting in what seemed to be dry place waiting for rain to stop. BUT water seeped along the ground and I didnt notice that I was sitting in a puddle til too late. Nevermind I thought, I`ve got dry knickers, so I put on dry knickers, and whe n the rain stopped we set off.My johds and saddle were..not wet.. but also not dry. After a few hours I noticed that my bum was really sore. The cotton gusset of the Sloggi DCs had absorbed damp from everywhere and then become very scratchy. Serious danger of saddle sores. Sloggis only to be worn under ideal conditions. The two synthetic pairs are OK because they wick damp away, not attract it. Just so you know.

SOCKS

Almost as important as knickers, bad socks can cripple you, even if your shoes are fine. Once I had a pair of socks called 1000 mile socks. Or something like that. They destroyed my feet in 1000 metres.

So on this trip I have three types of sock:

The first photo is of my beloved Bridgedale socks. Warm comfortable and hard wearing, quick drying and warm when wet. What`s not to like?

I didn`t get three or four pairs the same for the same reason as I have a variety of knickers, you need a variety of thickness in the sock, so avoiding any kind of pressure points developing.

I have tried out almost all kind of socks, and rather "technical" ones are sometimes quite good. Also it is quite pleasant if socks fit your foot snugly and don`t move. So I got two pairs of such socks, made by SKI ADRENALINE and costing an arm and a leg. I like them for walking/riding because, although designed for skiing, they adapt well. They are knee length, and knee length socks are much warmer. They have padding on the calves which prevents stirrup "leathers" (mine are actually nylon fabric) from pinching. The foot is very well padded without being bulky, so your shoes still fit, even while your feet are protected from bruising from walking over stones etc. Because they are very carefully designed they fit closely without cutting off circulation. They dry quickly and don`t go crunchy (sorry to be so crude) when you have sweated up and then the socks have dried.

They wash easily and dry quickly. they don`t pickup too many spikey grass seeds.

HOWEVER. You have to put the right sock on the right foot and the left sock on the left foot. Like shoes.

This is very bad in the morning as one has to put one`s glasses on in order to see which one goes on which foot. This is descrimination against people who can`t see without glasses. They should make the LEFT and RIGHT easier to see, or better still, make the socks different colours, so there is no confusion. Not Red and Green, natch, as that would discriminate with those having the red/green colour blind syndrome.

Actually, I think it may be capitalism in sport. For example, my father had a long big toe. This immediately bored a hole in the toe of all his socks. By judicious alternating of which foot he put on which sock he could make socks last twice as long. But with these they`d wear out in half the time. And although you can darn holes in socks, I think a darn over the toes would damage your feet in no time. So I prefer slightly less exact fit, and longer use of the socks.

The third pair of socks has a very specific use. These are sealskin waterproof socks, and mean that you can get up in the morning, put on the waterproof socks (which fashionistas will see should really be worn with cheap sandals from the supermarket) and walk about in the wet to feed George, potter about in dewey meadows, go andget water from a river or lake, without getting cold wet feet or, importantly, getting your shoes and socks, which you stored in plastic bags in your tent overnight, wet. This is the difference between being able to walk and not being able to walk.

I used to get up and wander about with bare feet or just crocs, but since it is often very cold this wasn`t ideal.

The waterproof sock/crocs combination is idea. However, a thorn went through my crocs and punctured my socks..the socks recovered but the crocs had to be binned.

I originallly got the waterproof socks to wear for LangLauf skiing, and they are perfect for this, BUT they really aren`t great for walking far in, especially if the day is hot. So the waterproof socks are just used in the morning, or if we stop in a wet place I want to explore at lunchtime.